cookinshack

Look at that photo! MMM,mmmm….  Sorry I got a bit excited…….

            I eat badly, at least from a health standpoint, oh well. I’d bet that my readers like eating badly too. We are carnivores after all, and grease offers the most bang for the buck with respect to calories. Many years ago a visiting raccoon showed me this one night by raiding our cooler and eating a whole tub of margarine. He looked quite happy sitting there with the tub in his little paws….ahhhhh, soooo cute! More recently I saw a program on bears which had one clip of a bear eating cooking grease out of a 5 gallon pail which it had swiped from an unsecured garbage container.

So there you go, fat is good (to eat), I just proved it, lol….The pork shoulder roast pictured is the remains of a cheap and economical meal my family had two nights before. I get the left-overs, just like a the alpha male carnivore that I am. Why, oh why would I show you such an after-work feast? Simply because it tastes good, regardless of the health consequences.

You can’t cook pork shoulder roast as pictured without a slow cooker, it is too poor a cut. The slow cooker makes the meat fall off the bones. You do not need a knife to eat, it is that tender. I like that, but also like the fact that the fat literally melts in the cooking process. There is nothing that tenderizes pork better that cooking slowly in its own fat. Buy a slow cooker and let that sucker go for about 6 hours. Toss in a couple apples and onions near the end if you want.

The perogies (premade frozen ones) require you to cook a pound of bacon, so that you can fry them in the bacon grease. You need two pans, so split up the bacon. When the bacon is ¾ done just throw the perogies in the pans, and move the bacon onto the perogies with a fork. Turn the heat way down to around 1/3 or the perogies will stick and cover. Turn the perogies with a spatula every 5 minutes or so. Cut up two onions and toss them in around halfway. The perogies take about 20 minutes to a half hour to cook. They will have a nice golden brown colour when done.

For condiments the flavours are endless aren’t they? The pork can be eaten with applesauce, BBQ, hot mustard, or sauerkraut. (I live in a very German town~%50 of the population is of German ancestry) The perogies can be eaten with sour cream, or as pictured, with pancake syrup (my daughter’s idea) which is really tasty!

Remember, enjoy your food!

911 or your cardiologist is just a phone call away…… 

Vegetative State……caused by eating too much, and the inhalation of Marijuana.

Seriously though, I mean a state caused by eating veggies, which is something this guy doesn’t have do enough of. For me the vegetable needs an accompanying sauce or meat unless it is an unusually tasty thing like asparagus, sweet corn, or Brussels sprouts. That last one got you didn’t it? I tried some a month back and they were surprisingly good (I didn’t cook ‘em) so I’ll have to ask my wife how she did them.

            So now that we know I’m a bit of a sham and can’t really cook, I’ll tell you how to eat two of nature’s more disgusting vegetables, broccoli and cauliflower. To make a nice broccoli and cauliflower dish go and find a particular cook book by Emeril Legasse (the loud guy who says ‘BAM’); to make a nice cauliflower or broccoli dish keep reading. BTW, Emeril’s recipe is really good.

            My technique is the same for both veggies so buy the one you want to try from the store, and make sure you have flour, milk, cheese, and oil at home otherwise you’ll be going out twice. The basic skill you’ll master is the creation of a ROUX, which is a French word meaning something incomprehensible….. The roux is a staple in many of my heart attack inducing recipes so it is something you must know. This of course is one more goddam reason to eat your veggies isn’t it?

            Oh-oh, time for an interesting segway; the story of ‘CC’. People sometimes get funny nicknames that have bizarre origins and this guy, CC, is no different. CC doesn’t like vegetables and has a lifestyle of overeating, drinking, smoking, and generally being unhealthy. One day, during lunch one of my coworkers Andy (a funny guy) says to CC ‘you should eat some vegetables’, as CC is busily stuffing a burger into his yap. CC, who was known as DAVE at the time, replies ‘that’s rabbit food’. And so the name was born. ‘What name?’ you say…. ‘CC’ I say. CC himself though the name ‘CC’ stood for Canadian Club, a really vile whiskey, and told Andy that he should be called ‘CR’ since he drank Crown Royal.

            You’d never guess what CC stands for would you? Not in a million years I’d bet, so I’ll just tell you …..

            “Cholesterol Case”

            It could be easily the title of my blog too; anyways Dave has been known as CC ever since and yes he knows what it stands for.

            Back to the broccoli/cauliflower now; wash and cut up the vegetables and cut them into bit size pieces. Put them in a pot and boil until tender. Drain the veggies in a colander and return the pot to the stove. Dump in a good slog of oil and let it get hot. Put 3 big tablespoons of flour in next and stir it around. After a minute of so it will be a sizzling paste. Turn the heat down quite a bit and start adding milk slowly, a little at a time. Stir aggressively with a whisk if you have one, otherwise with a big spoon or spatula. Importantly, when making a roux or this cheese sauce avoid boiling the mixture as much as possible. The milk will mix with the flour and turn it creamy at first and then very thick. Add more milk to thin things out. Add some sliced up cheese (stirring it in like the milk) and some salt and pepper. Serve your veggies with the sauce on top, or mixed in if you prefer.     

   

Craig is a pig. Well not really, but he has terrible manners. As you may have guessed I have been/am somewhat of a barbarian and today’s little tale is no different. (except of course, that this barbarian has excellent table manners, most of the time) The story of Craig is one of manly men and construction, winter time, food, and of course copious amounts of alcohol.

In a different life a few decades back, Craig was my boss of sorts, as he was a journeyman and I, his reluctant apprentice. We installed commercial windows for a small firm and ended up spending most of one very cold winter building a mall in northern southern Ontario. That sounds crazy but makes sense if you have any idea what northern Ontario is really like. In order to maximize our productivity the big boss had us stay in a hotel during the week eliminating the 4 hours daily commute to the jobsite. We were provided with accommodation and the company credit card. I’d say here’s where the fun began, but the boss didn’t ever buy our booze for us!

Our workday was long because Craig was greedy, so it was always a mad rush to find a new restaurant, fill our faces, buy booze, and then retire to the hot tub where we could get a good look at the aerobic instructor’s ass, as she conveniently spent many hours trying to impress the muscle heads working out at the poolside gym.

Since this is a blog about food and not carnal lust fuelled by excessive rum and cokes, I’ll return the reader to the topic at hand. Since we lived at the job for so many months we ended up frequenting the same restaurants a few times as we had probably tried all of the places that would allow ordinary folk in the door. (neither of us had brought a suit — go figure) On one of these occasions Craig happened to notice a sign saying ‘all you can eat shrimp’ so that is what we had. Now you are probably thinking ‘so what, a couple of hungry construction workers eating’, but you’d only be getting the half of it.

The true nature of Craig was revealed shortly after I had finished my second plate of shrimp. The restaurant offered a choice of ‘peel and eat’, or ‘batter fried’; Craig had finished a plate of peel and eat and decided to switch to batter fried, but not for reasons of taste. Incredibly, he was too lazy to peel his ‘peel and eat’ shrimp and switched to batter fried because it was easier to remove the shrimp from the batter. As I gazed upon Craig, holding his fork like a shovel, and noted carcasses of fried batter piled half a foot high on one of his empty plates, he said ‘My parents think I’m a pig’, with a big grin on his face. Our laughter echoed through the restaurant…………..

Now that I’ve regaled you with a silly tale, I’ll give you a shrimp recipe that will impress everyone, even pigs. This meal has one caveat; it must be made the same day you purchase the seafood, that’s just how it is.

Ingredients:

Half a pound of raw shrimp and the same of fresh scallops.

One large onion

One sweet pepper

½ dozen mushrooms

Tablespoon of garlic

Finger length chunk of cheese (2”x 2”x 2” seems right)

Basil, oregano, salt, pepper

White wine is nice but not necessary

Half a bag of pasta (fettuccini, spaghetti, linguini)

Olive oil (or more boring cooking oil)

Milk

Flour

Prep:

Peel shrimp and rinse them and the scallops in cold water.

Drain and set aside.

Cut up vegetables to taste.

Peel garlic if not using preminced

Cut up cheese

Get out two big pots, fill one halfway with water, and put it on high heat.

 

Cooking:

When the water pot begins boiling turn it right down and heat up the second pot on medium, adding 5 tablespoons of oil. Using your hand as a thermometer put the garlic in the pan when you can feel heat above the oil. As soon as it begins sizzling add the seafood. After one minute turn the seafood with a spatula and add the vegetables, a tablespoon of basil and oregano, a flat teaspoon of salt and a big pinch of pepper. (and a half cup of wine if you want) Put a lid on the pot. Wait two minutes and turn the water pot back to high and as soon as it reboils add your pasta. Dump in a little oil and a pinch of salt too.

You have to be quick now that the pasta’s cooking. It will be done in 7 minutes. The seafood and veg. now needs a coating of flour. Sprinkle the top with flour (1/3 cup), turn with the spatula and put the lid back on. After about a minute start adding milk. Dump in a cup or so and scrape the bottom with the spatula. You’ll notice it will look thick and creamy or chunky. You need to finesse this part, it is tricky. Turn the heat down to a quarter. Add milk slowly (every 15 seconds or so) and keep stirring/scraping gently until there is a nice sauce about as thick as gravy. If you go too slowly the bottom will burn! Add the cheese and stir in some more milk. Turn the heat right down when everything is blended in

By now the pasta should be nearly done. Check it by tasting a piece (not mushy/not chewy), and check the spicing of your sauce too. Add salt, pepper, and garlic as you see fit. Drain the pasta and dump a good slog of olive oil in the now empty pot. Return the pasta to the pot and mix it in the oil. Serve up the pasta with the sauce on top!

 

 

Shack              

 

Get crackin’, you’re hungry and it’s breakfast. What’s easier? Not much, except maybe cereal, and that’s as boring as a plain old fried egg. That’s what we’re having today, but mine’s a bit special. My recipe calls for eating the UNBORN, unlike all the other recipes out there. If you think about it for half a second I’m right; we are no better that the wily fox, skunk, or weasel, and maybe snakes or lizards depending on where my readers live.

Poor, poor UNBORN, so tasty! I guess that’s why we’ve been eating him/her/them for millennia. Luckily some people aren’t as dense as GORDON and don’t name their pets/eggs. He did, you know, name his turkeys, and then had to kill them on the TELE, as the Brits say. I guess he didn’t really have to kill them since he’s rich, but then what kind of a cooking show would he have had without turkeys.

My UNBORN are nameless and faceless so we should be OK unless one of my readers is a member of PETA, or (gasp) vegetarian. However, we all know I can continue safely today, safe from TERROR, because my first few posts have surely scared these types away. Now back to the topic at hand. Look at that picture, what do you see? A nice orange and yellow mess, that’s for sure. The mess is simply a result of using my stainless instead of my cast pan. My technique for eggs sucks too I guess. You see I was going for an omelet, and more or less got scrambled. Anyways who cares what it looks like (it looks pretty damn good), what’s it taste like?

If I was a sommelier of eggs I’d say it has a hint of eggs, a slight overtone of cheese, and something else, oh wait it’s coming to me….onions! Luckily I’m only acting the fool and I’ll just tell you that what you see is pretty damn tasty: cheese, onions, milk, mushrooms, eggs, olive oil. Could you imagine eating all that together without cooking it? I couldn’t, and that’s why I’m glad we evolved from apes. Here’s how to prove you’ve ascended!

For the prep:

Get out a bowl, bust a couple eggs in it.

Dump in a quarter cup of milk.

Ditto on some olive oil (or any kind of cooking oil),

but use way less, maybe 4 tablespoons.

Chop up ¼ onion, and 3 or 4 mushrooms.

Cut a few slices of your favourite cheese.

For cooking:

Pan on medium heat,

Add 3 tablespoons oil

Beat the hell out of the egg/oil/milk with a fork

Dump in the pan

Add veggies and the cheese.

It will bubble and rise and will be ready to flip in roughly 5 min.

(If you tear it trying to turn it so what)

When it looks done, it’s done!

             
                SHACK

            I watch cooking shows as you might imagine and am often entertained by a particular individual named Gordon. An upper echelon guy no doubt, as is his contemporary Jamie, but both have regular ordinary bloke roots. (Which is why I like them) Gordon happened to be visiting a house full of twenty-somethings who couldn’t cook. What I was amused by was all the booze. These guys were me; well at least 20 years ago!

            The line that cracked me up was Gordon saying “you eat this crap pissed?” I nearly fell off my chair laughing and had to rewind the PVR to hear it again. I got the idea to start writing about cooking from my wife because I have some friends who can’t cook, but Gordon brought me right back to my own youth with his single incredulous question.

            I think many young guys get into a mode they find hard to change if they can’t cook. They eat takeout a lot, then supplement it with more takeout after the bar closes. (As anyone who drinks a lot knows, being hammered makes you hungry) Next day, since they are hung-over, they don’t feel like/can’t cook so the takeout cycle repeats. Luckily beer has lots of calories so it counts for a real meal of sorts for these guys.

            Luckily for the reader my palette has become a little more sophisticated otherwise I’d be talking about take out. Interestingly though, takeout does have a minor role in today’s tale of drink.

            Many years back I and some hard drinking friends decided to go camping and mountain biking in Algonquin National Park in late October. Being we all smoked and drank quite a bit we were basically going away to party, with riding as a somewhat secondary consideration.

I don’t entirely remember what we ate for the all the meals we consumed but one thing in particular I do recall quite clearly; the hamburger patties of a major international fast food chain. This company has an animated little red haired girl as its spokesperson; I’ll let you figure it out. The patties are supposedly 100% real beef, and maybe that’s true. I doubt we will never know what part of the cow they came from and for that I’m happy. One of the crew worked for a supplier to this un-named chain and this was the ‘meat’ we were eating, so I can tell you it was genuine.

I’ve had the hamburgers made with this meat and they are tasty, so it is obvious that the sauce, cheese, and toppings were hiding the true nature of the ‘meat’. This was exposed when my buddy, the provider of the ‘meat’ cooked the patties in a skillet. The grease that came off was the nastiest smelling stuff I’ve ever smelled that wasn’t rancid. The meat itself was bland, tasteless and greasy. Can you imagine that I was disgusted, even with a beer buzz!

What’s a little friendly competition amongst friends right? Who can drink the most, cook the worst crap etc…

My friend, the ‘meat ‘ man, is a bad cook. I’m not, so I cooked a whole capon (also known as COCK for you silly folk, or gays), over an open fire. I got the bird from a farmer/coworker who raises free range poultry to supplement is income.

My ‘cock’ took 3 or 4 hours (a 6 pack of beer) to cook. I put it on a spit over a nice bed of burning coals that I would add small sticks to every few minutes. The spit had to be rotated frequently once the fat started melting out, or the bird would have become charcoal. (I tried this once with a duck completely sober and it burned quite badly-duck has way too much fat) After about two hours the skin was a smoky black and dark brown colour and at first I though the bird was done. I stabbed the breast with a fork and noticed the bird wasn’t quite dead yet so another hour or so was required, which makes sense since capons are bigger than hens (mine was 9 or 10 pounds).

You know the meal was great don’t you? I won the cook-off, the meat was so tasty! There is nothing better than eating and drinking by an open fire. My one regret is that I hadn’t brought more to share. You can feast anywhere if you have the will, that’s for sure. Think about it; my ‘kitchen’ was mega primitive, in fact it was a picnic table!

What do you think you can whip up, you know, at home? Cooking isn’t hard once you master some skills, you can even do it with a belly full of beer. I wouldn’t recommend it while learning though! “aghhh the house is on fire, call 911” I do think that you should have an alternative to fast food however, and it’s called the ‘KITCHEN’. Try out some of the recipes here, ask me some questions, I’ll be posting new stuff every week.

SHACK

           

             

It’s the end of Christmas and New Years, and I’m back to the grind on Monday. So sad! Because of that awful day I decided to stuff my face, and my family’s. We usually break out a snack plate just before Christmas, and did. But this year my daughter and I went nuts in the grocery store and bough $160 dollars worth of treats two days before Christmas. Yes, 160, not including regular groceries and the turkey. My guess is that I was feeling the strain of the economic meltdown and just wanted a good party on the upper decks of the Titanic, metaphorically so to say! As you all know the “second great depression” hasn’t happened quite yet and I was left with all this leftover snack food until about twenty minutes ago.

So what goes into ‘A Right Proper Pig-Out’? Lots of things I guess, just make them your favourite foods. I always make up a plate of veggies and some homemade dip as one of the centre pieces, followed by cheeses, meats, seafood, and topped with a variety of crackers. What is really important though is to make enough that no one can eat any more.

I’ll lay it out for you here, if there’s something you want to substitute go for it!

            My dipping sauce consists of some regular kitchen staples and is very easy to make. You need to taste it a few times as you go to get it right. It is made in a ratio of ¾ mayonnaise to ¼ creamy Caesar dressing, and a small amount of Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice for flavour. These last two are what you want to tweak a bit as you go. If you really like garlic you could add a bit, either powdered, minced, fresh, or just add more Caesar. As for making it, throw it all in a bowl and mix it up with a spoon. Just a little harder than opening up a tub of premade stuff that is BORING by comparison! 

The veggies are easy; just make sure you wash/rinse them first. Pick whatever you like. I chose cauliflower, sweet pepper, broccoli, and baby carrots for mine. Cut them into bite-size pieces and drain them in a colander before serving them.

For meat and seafood pick what you like from the grocer. I prefer fresh almost always but have no issue with canned stuff like smoked oysters, mussels, and kippers. I grabbed a big chunk of kielbasa sausage and some hot pepperettes too, for some added heartburn the next day.

My boy is a member of a ‘CHEESE CLUB’ so we went nuts here too. Cheddar, Camembert, Blue, Swiss, Brie; again too much food to comfortably eat. Cut it up, and put out a knife if it is one of the soft cheeses.

Things like olives and pickles are a good contrast to the richness of the other things. You’ll want something pickled like these, or hotter if you are like some of my family. Pickled jalapenos and banana peppers will do the trick. I can do one even better, combining the best of both; feta cheese stuffed jalapenos. My daughter has liked them since she was 7; she also has no fear of heights!

Lastly finish off the feast with some crackers, perhaps several boxes worth. Ritz, Breton, Triscuits, whatever your fancy. You need something for a foundation, a raft of sorts for the cheese, meat, and seafood. And often I find myself dipping the crackers in the sauce as well as the veggies. This allows for maximum stuffage (I just invented this word) of one’s belly. Put all the stuff out on great big plates if you have them or a few smaller ones if you don’t.

You shouldn’t feel guilty with a feast like this, it does have vegetables after all! 

 

SHACK

Have you ever had road kill? Probably not, right. Well, I have and no, I’m not kidding. The title above sums up a little off-roading I was participating in many years back. My friend had hit a pheasant (accidentally of course) and had broken its neck. It ran around in circles for a few seconds and then keeled over. My friend, being quite the barbarian, jumped off his bike and grabbed the bird. I suspected right away that he wanted to eat it, but didn’t want to come right out and say it, so he asked me what we should do with it.

You know my answer already.

The whole de-feathering and gutting thing is very nasty and requires a quite a strong stomach, so I won’t gross you out with the details, but I might add that the pheasant was about as fresh as they come. Once the cleaning process was over the bird looked essentially like any small chicken or Cornish hen that you might pick up in the supermarket.

We stuffed the body full of chopped mushrooms and onions, coated it with salt and pepper, and threw it in the oven for an hour. I had set out plates and such for a proper sit down meal, but we were very hungry….

Truthfully, a pheasant isn’t really enough for one guy let alone two, but at least we didn’t fight over it. We were hungry from dirt biking, and quite excited by the whole hunter-gatherer thing we had just experienced. The bird didn’t even make it from the pan. I mean burnt fingers and everything. We were done in about 5 minutes and all that was left was a small pile of bones.

SHACK

    Hey, it’s breakfast time, but you’re a cranky-pants! Cereal sucks, as does banana, fruit, and especially a bagel (unless it has toppings-then it’s ok, even good). What to do? I know, rediscover a lost food! I used to have French Toast when I was a kid and I had no idea how easy it was to make because I had my own personal kitchen slave. We all know who I am talking about don’t we? Now of course life as gone full circle and I have been reduced to endless toil in the aforementioned role….

    But seriously I’m only jesting about the slavery since my readers all know I like cooking or I wouldn’t be writing this stupid blog. I realized a few weeks back, actually my wife realized, that many ordinary people (particularly guys) don’t like cooking because they are unsure of what to do. I mean ordinary in the sense that we all have busy lives, regular kitchens, and we shop at supermarkets, with the very occasional foray into specialty food shops. The regular ordinary joe is very likely at a distinct disadvanage compared to his female counterpart, regular ordinary jane, because her gender has allowed her at least some exposure to cookery at home or in school. 

    Oh, to be regular and ordinary at the same time! I’d be depressed and have to eat take-out multiple times a week because I couldn’t cook. Then I’d become evermore depressed because of all the fast food I wasted my money on.  And sick too-seriously, go and rent ‘Supersize Me’, if you haven’t already!

    Stop with this tripe please, you might be thinking? 

    Sorry, I’ll get on with it. French Toast is one of the quickest and easiest cooked breakfasts I know. You can stuff your face in about 5 minutes if you’re quick. This is the tie in to the ‘Regular Ordinary J or J’, if you missed it. MMM, French Toast, unlike that other hot breakfast, OATMEAL (blech!!) that typically makes me want to chuck (it’s quick and easy too, but that’s no saving grace IMHO) .

    I’ll provide quantities for one person, if you want more, add more. You need one egg, a half cup of milk, 2 or 3 pieces of bread, and 4 tablespoons of cooking oil. Oh, and a frying pan. And some stuff to put on the French toast when it’s done, as long as it has sugar in it. Syrup, brown sugar, jam, honey, sugar, icing sugar. And butter, and sugar, lots…

    Frying pan on medium
    mixing bowl

    1 egg
    1/2 cup milk
    4 tablespoons oil
    2 or 3 pieces of bread
    sweet stuff (sugar, syrup, jam, etc.)
    a good chunk of butter for heart attack purposes

    Mix up the egg, milk, and oil in a bowl. Put your frying pan on medium and wait a few minutes till it’s quite hot. You should feel a bit of heat when you put you hand near it. Take a tablespoon of oil and put it in the pan and spread it out with your spatula. If it starts to smoke turn down the heat and get your toast cooking asap. To make your toast put your bread in the mixture, turn it over once, then put it in the pan. You can fit two pieces per pan. Dump any extra egg mixture that didn’t soak in on the last piece of toast you’re cooking. You will hear some sizzling straight away or in a minute or so if the pan isn’t fully hot. After a couple of minutes get your spatula under a corner (work the toast free if it needs unsticking) and have a look. The colour is right when it’s a golden, brown, and egg yellow colour. At this point flip it over and do the other side for around a minute, until it looks the same. You’re done!

    I should mention that this breakfast goes awesomely with bacon, fried balogna, sausages, ham…..and remember what I said about the sweet stuff, and the butter!

    Shack

Happy New Year everyone! Being I was in a celebratory mood the other day I decided to cook with BEER, which I do occasionally when I’m not drinking it. We were in the mood for some really unhealthy food so I suggested sausage on a bun. MMMM, yeah that’s the kind of heart attack I mean. Being it’s the dead of winter I didn’t feel like BBQing so the frying pan is the next best thing.

I have a couple of old cast iron pans I use for a lot of frying tasks that are the CAT”S ASS as I’m fond of saying. Cast cleans up really easily and if you scorch anything really bad you can actually get out a chisel and set it right. Mostly though a soak for a little bit does it. The surface of cast builds up a carbon coat that is almost non-stick but way more durable. I don’t cook with non-stick myself, I’m a bit too rough on stuff, and Teflon is delicate despite what all the manufacturers say. Cast and stainless, that’s it for me.

Anyways, back to the sausages and the beer; I bought an economy 10 pack of sausage which pretty much takes care of 3 guys, or a family of five. You buy what you need as you see fit. A regular pack usually has 4 sausages. Now for variety the sky’s the limit: Italian, honey garlic, Oktoberfest, Brats, turkey, etc. You decide. You’ll also need a few beers, a couple of onions, some mushrooms, and some type of crusty buns that are sausage sized, as well as either butter, margarine, or cooking oil.  

Set up the sausages in a covered pan (or two if you’re cooking for an army) on medium heat for about 5 minutes until you hear sizzling. When I heard the sizzling I got a brilliant idea and cracked open a Brick Brewery Waterloo Dark lager. This is a thick malty beer that I’ve drank gallons of. You should do the same with one of your favourite brews. Have a little chug while you’re at it! Then pour about a quarter of the bottle on the sausages, which will create some mad steam and even more sizzling. Give the bottom of the pan a quick scrape with a spatula and then turn over your sausages and let them simmer another few minutes.

While this is going on, dice up two onions and 10 or 15 mushrooms. Do them however you like. Keep an eye on the sausages too. Get out your condiments (relish, ketchup, whatever you like) too, and cut the buns halfway open.

The sausages have been cooking for about ten minutes now and you need to turn them. You’ll notice that most of the beer has boiled away and the sausages have taken on a golden brown colour from the beer. You might need a swig of beer to cool the pan(s). If the boiling is very intense as you add the beer your pan is way too hot, and should be backed off a quarter. You can take the lid off now.

Put another pan on high and drop maybe a couple tablespoons of oil (butter, margarine) in it. Put your onions in almost right away and let them sizzle. Every half a minute or so turn them with the spatula. When they begin to turn clear and then somewhat brown add the mushrooms. I covered mine to speed up their cooking, but you don’t need to and probably shouldn’t. The secret to great fried onions and mushrooms is lots of heat, which drives off their water content as steam. A lid traps the steam and makes for swampy ‘shrooms, and we don’t want that.  If the heat is a little too much and your goodies are sticking turn down the heat a bit.

By now your sausages have been cooking 20 minutes and your pan should have a syrupy beer flavour coating the sausages. If it looks too wet crank up the heat and watch until your coating seems right. The onions and mushrooms have been cooking for 10 and just need some salt to finish them, maybe a half a teaspoon.  Grab a plate and get eating!

SHACK